It has been a while. I would like to say it has taken me so long to blog because I haven’t had anything to write about, but then I would be lying. I could blog about plenty of things that are frustrating and annoying, but the reality is those things will never change. They are just a part of the reality of parallel parenting. The difference isn’t whether things are easier or if things are less combative… that would be a fairy tale at best, but rather I am living my best life with my children and grandchildren and not reacting to the moments where chaos attempts to uproot everything we have built.
The last several months have been amazing! I love feeling empowered and healthy enough to be me without any apologies. I have worked hard to find myself and have come a long way in my journey. Not to toot my own horn or anything, but “toot, toot.”
From losing over 50 pounds and still continuing to lose weight to enjoying the strides that my kids and I have made with our mental health. New hair styles and positive body image. Setting boundaries and not being nervous to stay consistent. New tattoos that my children and I chose to represent our journey and our bond with one another. Communicating effectively and positively with one another as well as with others. Finding my confidence as a mom and as a woman as I get the opportunity to enjoy my life and have fun. Learning to laugh again and just be goofy. Every moment has been breath taking. Not perfect, but definitely worth celebrating.
I went from silent panic attacks and nervous system reactions when I would go out on a date or have a male around me to laughing and enjoying time with friends and interests. Holding hands and enjoying some moments at the river or out of town without hesitation. Riding side by sides, dirt bikes and four wheelers while laughing, singing and having a good old time. Never worrying about what was going to happen but rather enjoying the bliss of the unknown. Healthy boundaries and respectful moments while being in a healthy and safe environment where I could laugh and enjoy being young.
I went from having two high stressed children who struggled to express themselves to having two children who can talk to me about anything, listen to each other and know that they are always willing to grow and learn from their successes, struggles and difficulties. Having two children who come home and say “mom, I want to tell you everything” while having completely open dialogue. Having communication that is not only healthy and calm but also raw and honest. Knowing and seeing what is going on and not letting those things affect and influence our relationship with one another.
Going from feeling self-conscious about myself, my looks and my overall appearance to recognizing my own self-worth and beauty. Watching my daughter and son grow at the same time in their transition of self-worth, self-respect and boundary setting. Life has become a beautiful and complex puzzle where all the pieces are finally put together, and nothing seems too big to accomplish.
Some of those puzzel pieces may be worn or have some imperfections, but each piece comes with its own characteristic that builds a bigger picture…
Ourselves.
Our family.
And most importantly…
Our peace.
Healing from Abuse 
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